Cheer and Loathing in the Free World Dec 28

Cheer and Loathing in the Free World Dec 28

This will be a short and sweet Cheer and Loathing due to the fact that you got holiday treats to eat, visit people you don’t necessarily want too and gifts to return.

Cheer: Dikembe Mutumbo– NBA hall of famer (well he should be), last true dominating defensive center (sorry Dwight Howard) and humanitarian supreme. Mutumbo helped build a hospital in the Congo which he donated up to 15 million dollars towards the project. Plus he has one of the deepest voices I have ever heard. That it, I am naming my first kid Dikembe. Come on that a sweet name though it might be hard to find personalized shirts, bracelets and vanity plates.

Did I mention he also speak around 8 languages and had his own McDonalds meal deal.

Loath: Dudes who wear shorts in freezing temperatures-Sorry I don’t get it. I can only theorize why they do it. My theories are:

a)      That there junk is set at a temperature of 120c and that if they don’t cool them down they will explode like an aerosol cans in an open fire

b)      I JUST HATE PANTS. They make me so angry.

c)       Look how tough I am. See I’m tough. Don’t believe I’m tough. I have frostbite. See tough.

d)      My legs are so sexy that it be a shame to hide them from the public.

e)       They allow quick ventilation for my farts to escape quicker for if they stay collect in my pants people will die.

Loath: New Years Resolutions-Hey I am all for those who want to feel better about themselves. Whether it be to loose weight, stop smoking, watch more porn, or whatever. But I hate when people attach these resolutions to specific events or dates. If you want to do something with your life do it NOW. Why wait 3 days. If you want to learn guitar, go get one now and start.  Unless you belive in the whole end of the world thing, then do whatever the hell you want.  Just remember if you are wrong you still have to report to work on Monday.

Cheer: Boxing day sales-Low prices, Giant TVs for sales, a smorgasbord of deals.

Loath: Boxing day sales-At the end I hate Boxing Day sales. What all the stuff you got for Christmas wasn’t enough. Also it’s the ultimate buyer’s remorse day. Wait what that TV I bought with a 70 dollar saving is now 200 dollars cheaper! Christ how much is the mark up on this crap. Also the fact people like on  Black Friday rush through doors trampeling old ladies to buy crap.  At least Black Friday you are buying stuff for other people and not for yourself (in theory). What do you really need after Christmas that you would stand outside in the cold 7 o’clock in the morning with a bunch of sleepy eyed people who haven’t showered because it’s the holidays.  Yet every year I look at the flyers. It’s like crack especially to someone who likes electronics.

by Josh Meisner