Cheer and Loathing in the Free World: Going to the Moives

by Josh Meisner

Going to the movies is one of my favorite things to do but like many social endeavors there are both positives and negatives to this experience. So without further ado ill skip the movie trivia, past the commercials and trailer and get right to the feature presentation.

Loath: No More Ticket Stubs-This is a small pet peeve of mine. Many people like to save ticket stubs as keepsakes. That very thin piece of card paper felt as it had soul.  Just the textile feel of it made you think you were doing something special. Now all you get is a slip of paper that really has no more sentimental value then a debit recite.

Cheer: Ticket Kiosk- This is a great idea. You don’t have to stand in line; you can zip in on your lunch break and pick up the tickets for the evening and be guaranteed a seat. Quick, simple and effective.

Loath: Ticket Kiosk with food option-What the point of the food option? Ok it be nice if you could pre order your tickets and popcorn if you could just walk in at it be there waiting for you. But if it’s like the theater I go to, the food concession line and the ticket line IS THE SAME LINE. So you are not saving any time or gaining any real advantage.  Your service isn’t faster, your drinks aren’t colder and your popcorn is poppier.

Loath: The book was better-This one drives me batty. Look there reasons why the book might have been better

1) No matter how good of a director you have, or script or CGI, it is almost impossible to translate what you conjure up in your mind up on the screen. The job of an author is to describe an environment, a scene or a mood and let you the reader fill in all the blanks. So when they say Bill is a tall and dark stranger your version of Bill may be different then the on screen portrayal.  It happens, get over with.

2) Time constraints are a big reason film and the books differ. A book can go on and have very little constraints in size. A film must fit into an allotted time frame that determined by budget, the studio and the director. So yes sometimes scenes that you may feel that are important to the story may have to be dropped or condensed. Also some scenes also don’t simply translate well to the screen.

3) Sometimes this is just simply said so that you let everyone know that you read a book. Congrats. You are special and you are a mega fan. Now can I watch this film and see what this directors interpretation is?

Loath:Info Bombing in the Theater-If you have read the book or seen the original of this film or been reading blogs nonstop about said film, please try and keep this info to yourself. Example: I recently saw The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and a couple next to me kept going on nonstop about plot points.  The whole time I was internally going LALLALALLALLAL. Please be aware other around you may not want know what going to happen.  Don’t ruin it for others around you or want to judge the film on its own merit.

Loath: Scooch over-OK so I arrived early, got a good seat and I am settled in. Then during the trailers a group of 8 people stumble in and ask you to scooch down a few seats so they all can sit together. WTF? I am in my seat, purposely got here early to get a good seat, I have my ass finally comfortable and now you want me to scooch Did I make you go stand in line for 20 minutes to get milk duds? Is it my fault your friend John is always late? Is it my fault it take 2 hours for your girlfriend to Spackle her war paint on? No, that what I thought. Plan ahead and live with the consequences.

Cheer :The theater going experience of community-Seeing a movie in a theatre is one of the last communal things we do in the world. It’s one of the very few things that people of all walks of life can share together.  It doesn’t matter your income or race a group of strangers can stare at a big screen and share screams, laughs and oh my god moments as one.  This for me is the reason why movie theatres still exist and hopefully always will.

Cheer and Loathing in the Free World Jan 25th, 2012

Hey everyone it’s another edition of Cheer and Loathing in the Free World. I would like to take this time to say thank you for those who check out my blogs especially last week. Apparently when you put in the term naked girls in your blog you get lots of attention.  Who knew? Anyway I decided to start this week off a little different by showing you a few pics by famous street artist named Bansky. Whos says we isn’t cultard and junk.

Cheer-Jalen Rose-Jalen Rose for those who don’t know helped change the college game as a member of the Fab 5 at Michigan and played 13 years in the NBA.  That not the reason I like Jalen. I like him because he give the most honest answers about being a pro athlete. Everything from game preparations, the locker room dynamic and what players actually think about on and off the court. His podcast on the Grantland.com is always interesting to listen to as Jalen and David Jacoby jabber on about sports, sprinkling in behind the scenes info and hip hop references. As he likes to croon, “got to give the people, the people what they want”.

Plus he decided to wear this on his draft night. Takes a set of balls to wear a suit like that. That what we call stylin.

Loath– McDonalds-Yes. I know it is easy to beat up on McDonalds. Yes there portion sizes have shrunk, (like most foods may I add. Remember 3 liter bottles of pop) there cost have gone up and there always in your face with there over 247 billion burgers sold. Awesome, you sold a lot of burgers, but we as consumers stick with them. They changed how there fries taste, they tease us with weird regional only foods (McSpagetti, McLobster, and fresh corn and yes this crap existed) and I think they shoved Grimace in a trunk of a Lincoln and rolled him in the river. Even some of the less then tempting imagery of how their food is processed does not turn us off. Yet we still show up with our hard earned money and just handed over to Ronald. We walk in and think about nostalgic childhood memories and how things USE to taste.  But I came to an epiphany. I don’t really like McDonald’s food. Know what I like?  I like there McChicken sauce and Big Mac sauce, not that actual food. It is like saying do you like BBQ hamburgers and replying well no there just a ketchup or BBQ sauce delivery device. It’s sad when your claim to fame is not your food but the shit you put on top of your food.  Congrats.

Here are some Menu items you wont every day

 

Loath: Liking Facebook statuses when it’s not like/not like situation-First of all what happened to the not like button? Why does everything have to be likable?  Anyway, if for example you wrote “got into college” and someone clicked liked that makes sense. But if you ask “has anyone seen my red hat?” and they click like what the hell does that mean. They like hats?  They like losing things? They stole your hat? Maybe there just evil bastards and they revel in the fact that you lost shit and it makes you sad inside.  I don’t know. Just read shit first before you like.

Cheer-George Takei-Who is that you may ask? It’s Sulu from Star Trek (The original series). No I am not some Trekkie (or Trekker) gushing over his hero.  George Takei was one of the first prominent Japanese-Americans on film (you know before they existed in Hollywood), Gay rights activist, Star Trek and Star Wars diplomat (Star Alliance as he calls it), Twilight stupidity enlightener(major points there ) and he just has a very dry sense of humor.

by Josh Meisner

Cheer and Loathing in the Free World: The Musical Jan 18th, 2012

Music. It is one of those rare things that can bring together people of different ethnicities, economic backgrounds and religions together under one roof to wave lighters in the air in harmony. It is also cause some of the most feverous debates such as “who a better guitar player Hendrix or Clapton”   or “who has the most grating voice Axel Rose or Brian Johnson”.  PS this article was difficult to write do too Wikipedia and other sites blacking out today to protest SOPA which is a whole article in its self.

Cheer: Goyte- I admit the first song I heard from them was “Somebody I use to know” which is pretty great. So instead of just listening to one song and declaring him a genius I started googling around the interweb (googling is now a verb) to find some of his other music and wow what an interesting and wide ranging pieces of work. He is a Belgian that made his way to Australia when he was 2 years old. He combines acoustic, electronic, dance, indie rock, r & b into a mishmash of just coolness. He also has some of the more unique music videos which are so far from the rapid cut/white wipe/ blow out the colors editing process which is the norm now.

Loath-Jason Derulo- Just cause he yells his own name at the beginning of his songs. That the only reason I know he exists. Just imagine if you knew a guy who if you went to a meeting opened up every statement by crooning his name.

Cheer???- Steel Panther-I debated whether I should put them into the cheer and loathing section and if whether should they be a cheer or a loath. Steel Panther is an 80’s sounding hair rock band. Sort of.  There songs include Death to All but Metal, Fat Girl, Asian Hooker 17 girls in a row and such.  I assume there a parody band (dear god let them be a parody band) though they really blur the line well with their spot on wardrobe, very good glam rock compositions and production value. Honestly if you just heard them in the background at a bar or on the radio, you think it just some generic rock band. But if you just start listening to the lyrics you umm… hear some interesting stuff. Most lyrics are about sex, their junk, more sex, things they do during sex and well you get the picture. Let’s just say there lyrics leave little to the imagination.

Loath-Techno music- One out of every five hundred techno songs are somewhat palatable. One in every ten thousand offers something somewhat original.  I’m sorry when your whole genre is based on looping the same beat over and over and usually some guy screaming at you to dance or get down or move it a thousand times in a row, doesn’t cut it for me. That is the reason why you never hear of someone a few years after their “hit”. Usually because there some other guy right behind him doing the same thing. Here is the bases of almost every techno song. Beat: thump thump thump, insert crazy sound and then thump thump thump speeds up. Insert lady with mega voice yodeling and now drop the songs hook and repeat. When your audience is often comprises of colorfully dressed teens tripping out on acid the odds of your longevity are quite low.

Loath-Mariah Carey- I think Mariah Carey had a great set off ummm… lungs. She can really hit the high notes and blast the roof off a building. Here my beef. What the hell is with the vocal gymnastics? Ok we know you got talent and range but why wohhhhhowwowoowhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. The thing is since you started doing it everyone does it in a song if they got the voice. Why can’t you just sing damn it. Use your words to communicate.

Here a clip of both her singing voice and her yodeling.

Cheer-Jay Z: I’ll admit it when I first heard Jay-Z I thought to myself why does he have kids singing in his song? WTF? (Hard Knock Life was my first exposure to him) But I must admit the more I listened to him I thought, wow in this world of over produced garbage(though he does it at times but I guess every genre goes through growth and change) he still at least embodies the fundamentals and skills of the old school hip hop artist.  Most of his rhymes are well crafted and actually say something. Unlike most whose will rhyme the word F@#k with the word F#@K, talk about women like they’re never going to hear that song (I am talking to you Lil Wayne), or rap about the shit they have. (I swear I think there a song out there that the guy talks about his phone.) So Jay-Z though I may not always like the choice of your hooks, but your rhymes still at least echo back to the days of Ice-T, Chuck D,  Ice Cube, Eric B and the likes. Now if we can just get record scratches, the love of djs (not producers) and B Boys back into the mix and made up beefs, making up of words(looking at you Snoop) and bad hooks out (Soulja Boy), Hip Hop may have a shot of getting its soul back.

Kinda Cheer-Rebecca Black- Remember her? You don’t? If i told you its Friday now you probably remember her and horrible memories are flooding back. You are welcome. She now has a new song out called Person of Interest. I applauded her still chasing her dreams of being a singer through the fact she was horribly skewed in the public forum. I admit she sounds much better her second time around. So for her not to crumble under the scrutiny she got from her first song I applaude that but….

Loath-Person of Interest-This song doesn’t have the same annoying affect as Friday but man there some terrible lyrics in it. The start of the song she lists thing about a boy and follows up with “I like that”. Get a new lyric writer but you know that not the weird creepy thing about this video. The song is called person of interest and well if you read between the lines it almost sounds like she recounting a story of a flasher or stalker. I mean there cops with yellow tape, she looks like she emphatically saying with her hand “look a guy jumped out and waved his wang all around then made me cup his balls.” Then cuts of her just stiffly dancing. That coupled with some of the other lyrics its, its just creepy. Keep swinging though Rebecca.

Big Mega Cheer-The Beatles- Look I could write five thousand words on the Beatles and someday I might just do that. They brought rock to the main stream and then subsequently pushed it in every direction. All rock must pay their tribute to the Beatles and maybe this will clean your acoustic pallet of the previous Rebecca Black song. I’ll give you a double dose just in case.

by Josh Meisner

Cheer and Loathing in the Free World Jan 12th, 2012

Hello everybody it’s a new year. I have decided to turn over a new leaf and be less harsh and critical. I’m going to be more open minded and less judgmental.  Be at peace and understand that I can’t control everything and that Even though I may disagree with something it is still ok. Nah I’m just shitting you. As I would like to often proclaim in the 90’s and still do to this day, I am keeping it real yo.

Loath-Online Magazine Subscription sties: I probably wouldn’t have brought this up until I received my issue of Movie Maker magazine in the mail. There was nothing wrong with the issue. It was in pristine condition still hermetically sealed in a lovely plastic sleeve. So why am I so perturbed? Maybe because this is the 3^rd issue I have received in over 2 F@$King years. I have a bi monthly subscription so by my math I have missed 9 issues.  This is the second company I have had issues with. The first didn’t even bother to send me ANY issues out.  Maybe it’s with the actual magazine company its self. All I know is that online subscription ordering is dead to me. Arseholes.

Cheer: Space– Yes the great big black thing in the sky that is littered with stars. Why do I cheer space? Unlike most thing anyone can try and bull shit their way through, (cars, sports, history) almost no one knows what the hell is going on up there.  How does a black hole really work, I don’t know. Is there little green men out there watching us? There might be. Is there a planet made of chocolate and nougat? It very well maybe children. Also because of that giant void, of which we know little, we as humans shoot up satellites, probes, and men into space to find out stuff.   When they try and find out stuff, they develop new technologies and make advancement in science.  Let’s face it, if we knew everything about space or had no urge to go there we wouldn’t have a quarter of the stuff we do now. Most likely there would be no microwaves, no jet airplanes and no tang. (Note: Does anyone drink tang anymore. I am just asking)

Loath: Posting shit you bought on facebook-I’m sorry this is such a shallow thing. I would estimate that over 95 percent of the time it’s not a innocent “Hey everybody just to let you know so you aren’t confused I bought a new car”.  It has more the tone “Hey you damn losers look at all the shit I just bought and makes me better then you. You are lucky that you are privileged enough to see my shit. F@#ktards.”  Oh look you bought a new sweater. Wow what earth shattering news. You own stuff. Wow you are just the most amazing person in the world.  The only thing shallower is…

Loath: Posting self pics of yourself all the time-Facebook says you need a picture of yourself on your profile to identify who you are. So if you take a self pic so you have something on there I do understand. It is facebook law and that the most powerful law there is. There are people out there though who whole pic inventory are pictures of themselves. I knew one girl who every week there was a new self pic on there. Not cause she got a new hair cut or something that altered her appearance such as a giant spike in her head. . She just looooooooved photographing herself. You people know who you are. Just stop it. (Note: when searching for a pic or video for an example i came across whole sites dedicated to this self indulgence. One site called Hot Self shots where girls take naked pics of themselves. . Frig. )

Keeping it classy and making dad proud.

Cheer: Netflix feedback system– Netflix has had a rough year. I mean ROUGH. Whether it be about them shutting down there home delivery service, to the quality of their product or just there public image.  But I will give Netflix props in one area. They often send me email either wondering how the quality of their video was (usually good but sometimes a bit fuzzy) or how they can improve their service.  Now I am not sure how well they are implementing this but the fact is they want to know how their doing to provide a better product. Wouldn’t it be nice if your cable provider sent you a email saying “how was our feed” or a network saying “How can we improve this show cause frankly we are out of ideas?”

Many companies such as cell phone, cable and utilities don’t give a shit cause often there the only game in town.  For example a neighbor of mine recently complained that his bandwidth had dropped from approximately 3 gig to 1.5. The rep basically told them there were more people using the network and that the reason for the drop. Well he was paying for 3 and now paying the same for less. He asked if anything was to be done about it, they and was told there was nothing they can do. (or want to) Unfortunately they are the only provider in the area and they have you over a barrel. Even though Netflix is a mess, they are at least trying to find a way out of there mess.  Just the fact they want to know how there doing and are at least making an effort to fix it.  As a customer of anywhere the fact someone is putting in an effort goes along way with me.  Now Netflix do not fail me or I must break you.

by Josh Meisner

Cheer and Loathing in the Free World 2012 Preview Edition

In this New Year edition of Cheer and Loathing in the Free world, I am going to look ahead to 2012 to some things I am looking forward to and not so much.  By the looks of it if it wasn’t for sports this is a very dark year for me.

Cheer: 2012 summer Olympics in London– I must say I don’t love the Olympics but I do enjoy them.  I’m sure London will have interesting opening ceremony with lots of celebs. Honestly though, most of us don’t pay attention to our “amateur” athletes that much till it is Olympic time.  We don’t normally give a crap about things like marathons, badminton and artistic gymnastics. But once your nations flag shows up in the medal count it’s a “hell yeah we number one wooooooo” moment.  It gives you a sense of pride that you are good at something though you personally had nothing to do with it. Usually there always one story that jumps out of someone persevering over some tragic injury or event.

Loath: Crap in toilet– Look as the book says everybody poops. To this day though it still baffles me that we as supposed civilized creatures but we DO NOT FLUSH THE TOLIET AFTERWARDS. Do you know how often I have run to the bathroom to be greeted by a giant pile of poop.  Just flush it you say, well that not the point.  Sadly unless laws are instructed or bathroom monitors are put in place this will continue to happen.

Loath: Mayan myths-So for those who been living under a rock basically the Mayan created a calendar that runs out in Dec 21, 2012. Now according to their mythology that is the day the world will end.  We will be bombarded with damn stories about this for a whole year now, wing nuts posting crazy shit on the internet and I’m sure sadly some cult will do something.  You know what though, if we make it past Dec. 21^st still intact they will go back and say oops we made a mistake its really such and such a date like any other crack pot who predicts our end. Oh and we will probably see that shitty movie 2012 a billion times on TV.

Great video to calm all your worries.

Cheer: UEFA Euro-This could be my favorite sporting event of the world. To me this is the most competitive sports tournament there is. The top sixteen European nations trying to vie for football supremacy. Unlike the world cup these are the best of the best (excluding   Argentina, Brazil and maybe Uruguay. )Though you can argue that some of the tops aren’t there at least the tournament isn’t filled out with nations who got in because they played in weak football regions like South Korea, Japan, Algeria, Honduras and North Korea. Plus do to their natural geographic proximity there is real actual palatable passion for there country and despise for their opponents.

Loath: Some mindless celebrity death- I’m not going to predict who will die here but I’m sure some celebrity will die tragically and they will be plastered all over the news. Death is inevitable and sad yes. The thing is though there will be someone who is basically a straight up bitch/asshole who will pass and everyone will say the cliché’ “oh he was so talented” and “gone to soon” or my favorite “a real role model.” I’m trying not to be callas but it amazes me how we glaze over all the shitty things they done cause there dead and famous.

Loath: Gomez/ Bieber marriage: No I do not have any inside info on this. I just got a sick feeling in my gut this will go down.  Then all I will see on magazine racks are stories like or “Justin and Selena on the splits” or “Justin’s wild night without Selena” or “Selena and Justin sacrifice puppies to the sun god RA to show their love” Just straight up garbage.

Cheer: Dark Knight Rises– I love batman, I love Chris Nolan and I love Chris Nolan’s Batman series. The expectations I have are probably way to high. But Damn it I love me some batman (in a platonic way).

I hope you all have a good 2012.

By Josh Meisner

Cheer and Loathing in the Free World Dec 28

Cheer and Loathing in the Free World Dec 28

This will be a short and sweet Cheer and Loathing due to the fact that you got holiday treats to eat, visit people you don’t necessarily want too and gifts to return.

Cheer: Dikembe Mutumbo– NBA hall of famer (well he should be), last true dominating defensive center (sorry Dwight Howard) and humanitarian supreme. Mutumbo helped build a hospital in the Congo which he donated up to 15 million dollars towards the project. Plus he has one of the deepest voices I have ever heard. That it, I am naming my first kid Dikembe. Come on that a sweet name though it might be hard to find personalized shirts, bracelets and vanity plates.

Did I mention he also speak around 8 languages and had his own McDonalds meal deal.

Loath: Dudes who wear shorts in freezing temperatures-Sorry I don’t get it. I can only theorize why they do it. My theories are:

a)      That there junk is set at a temperature of 120c and that if they don’t cool them down they will explode like an aerosol cans in an open fire

b)      I JUST HATE PANTS. They make me so angry.

c)       Look how tough I am. See I’m tough. Don’t believe I’m tough. I have frostbite. See tough.

d)      My legs are so sexy that it be a shame to hide them from the public.

e)       They allow quick ventilation for my farts to escape quicker for if they stay collect in my pants people will die.

Loath: New Years Resolutions-Hey I am all for those who want to feel better about themselves. Whether it be to loose weight, stop smoking, watch more porn, or whatever. But I hate when people attach these resolutions to specific events or dates. If you want to do something with your life do it NOW. Why wait 3 days. If you want to learn guitar, go get one now and start.  Unless you belive in the whole end of the world thing, then do whatever the hell you want.  Just remember if you are wrong you still have to report to work on Monday.

Cheer: Boxing day sales-Low prices, Giant TVs for sales, a smorgasbord of deals.

Loath: Boxing day sales-At the end I hate Boxing Day sales. What all the stuff you got for Christmas wasn’t enough. Also it’s the ultimate buyer’s remorse day. Wait what that TV I bought with a 70 dollar saving is now 200 dollars cheaper! Christ how much is the mark up on this crap. Also the fact people like on  Black Friday rush through doors trampeling old ladies to buy crap.  At least Black Friday you are buying stuff for other people and not for yourself (in theory). What do you really need after Christmas that you would stand outside in the cold 7 o’clock in the morning with a bunch of sleepy eyed people who haven’t showered because it’s the holidays.  Yet every year I look at the flyers. It’s like crack especially to someone who likes electronics.

by Josh Meisner

Cheer and Loathing in the Free World

Dec 22, 2012

Since it’s the holidays I am going with a very rare all cheer version of Cheer and Loathing in the Free World.  Slowly I am trying to get in the quote “spirit of things.” At least I am not a the point now where anyone I see wearing a Santa hat I want to rock bottom them.  Honestly who the hell in there right mind wears one in the middle of November. So take a deep breath and realize that it will all be over soon and try not to stress out too much.  Oh and for those who aren’t done your shopping yet fellas, here is a great tip for some last minute shopping for that special lady.

Cheer: Old WW2 Movies– There a simple reason why I like old WW 2 movies. You see if they shot a movie today everything in it be cgi’d to death. The tanks, the explosions and the planes would all be in the director and actors imagination, until there added later in post production. In those WW 2 movies say between 1945 and say till the 1970’s those were the authentic thing. Hell they even used real vets in some of the earlier ones.  Sure they can be campy, historically inaccurate and the star may never get a ounce of dirt on them. That Panzer running over that hedge, that a real live scare the bejesus out of you Panzer. Those Mustangs and Messerschmitt in that dog fight are real functioning aircraft right down to the decals. When they re enact an air drop of Operation Market Garden, those are real planes with real people jumping out. Could you imagine a studio trying to do this now? The logistics and safety issues alone would make their head explode.

Cheer: The word BULLSHIT-I don’t know why I think this is just a great term but it just  roles off the tongue. It is much better than its brother horse shit, and it is much more versatile then its cousin dipshit.  Try it some time. You won’t be disappointed. (Note: I am not responsible for when you use it or how you use it. If you get fired, thrown out of a McDonalds or make your kids cry that was really your call.)

HUH?: Holliday Commercials– Ok in particular this one. I’m not sure if this guy trying to be a dick, has a speech impediment or is just a dumb ass.  Sorry I’m not sure what going on here but I had to post it

MEGA CHEER: Die Hard as the greatest Christmas movie ever-Come on work with me here. Every Christmas movie is often about people finding the true meaning of the holidays, has a ghost of Christmas pasts, Santa and all kinds of other predictable crapola. To me this is a more relatable holiday movie.

John McClain just wants a day off, wants to try and fix up his relationship with his wife and has to suffer through a company Christmas party he doesn’t really want to attend. The whole situation is just frustrating from the start. Something everyone can relate too. So then some asshole terrorist have to mess his holiday up. Like the Holidays aren’t stressful enough. So he going to have to fix the problem himself because, unlike most people during the holidays, there too self-absorbed in their own shit to do anything about it.

So you can keep your wide eyed kids trying to wait up for Santa, or Ebenezer Scrooge learning about how wicked he was, or Charlie Brown and his sad Christmas tree. Those are all nice lessons. But really those movies tell people to depend on the good of others or that everything will be ok because it’s a Christmas miracle.  John McClain doesn’t sit on his hands waiting for something that may never come, John McClain is out there taking care of business himself just armed with a machine gun and moxy.

Plus I love this voice over guy.

So Merry Christmas, a Happy Chanukah and a beautiful Kwanza to all my readers and listeners out there. Oh yeah also Yippee Kay Yeah mother f@3Kers.

By Josh Meisner

Fear and Loathing in the Free World Dec 13

Were you think damn its going to be one more day before I get to read another Fear and Loathing in the Free World piece. Well all you chico’s and senoritas I decided to publish one day early cause well that how I roll. (For the uninitiated I try to post one every Wednesday). So away we go in my funk mobile rolling to my soul shack.

Cheer:  Beastie Boys: They are now in there 4^th decade of producing there blend of hip hop/techno/ punk guitar rift rock. Whenever one of their song hit my car radio I usually end up rocking out and throwing my hands in the air (not the safest thing to do). Plus it’s the only concert you probably could go to where a white guy in his mid 30’s can wear a baseball cap backwards and still be considered “down”.

Loath: Friging white flash/rapid movie editing: Ok I get it. People today supposedly have shorter attention spans (thanks Riddley Scott and MTV).  So staying on a image longer the 2 second may bore your viewer. But holly hell in a hand bag do we need to flash 19 edits up in less than 6 seconds. I just recently saw a movie called Mega Piranha’s (yes I know it was going to be shitty), but the edits made the movie seem like some meth head who having withdrawals creepy nightmare.  I swear its some guy who just got out of editing school and say “hey guys watch this, I can make you have a seizure. “

Loath: Christmas Albums: They make money for musician. It’s a quick cash grab for an artist to sit down and bellow out some classic.  Occasionally its tolerable but often it’s a mishmash of song we don’t know complete with strange yodeling of singers trying to make it their own. If you want to sing white Christmas or Here comes Santa Claus, then sing the fing song. No need for guitar riffs, 8 octave ranges, that guy from the old spice commercial, record scratches, Yanni pan flute, and to be produced by timberland or thee Bruce Dickerson.

This makes me want to convert to another religion.

Cheer: Wi-Fi TVs: Wait what I can now watch my allegedly downloaded movies straight from my computer to my TV without wires or a gaming system. What I’m not suppose to use it for that what am I suppose to use if for. Family photos? Really? You guys are funny.

Cheer: KFC Gravy– I try not to promote products here but KFC gravy is good (though the rest of their product line has gone to crap. Sorry someone had to tell you Colonel. You probably already knew that when you tried to convince us the KFC meant kitchen fresh chicken. Nice try) KFC Gravy is fantastic. Well gravy in general is awesome but this is angels would taste like if they were processed into liquid form. Unlike…

Loath: Smuckers Uncrustables– I tried to find a commercial for this product though I’m sure the guys in there marketing department didn’t want any part of this lame product. Essentially it’s a frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwich that looks like a pizza pocket. Who the hell are these for? For people who can’t spend two whole anguishing minutes to make them self a sandwich. This product is not available in Canada because we all know how to use a butter knife and take a bread tag off a bag.

By Josh Meisner

Cheer and Loathing in the Free World

Dec 7th, 2011

Hello everyone welcome to another Cheer and Loathing in the Free World. It’s now December  7th, 2011. Honestly I think I’m Holly the Jollied the F*&^ out.  Seriously there 18 more days till kid beating Bing Crosby and Wilson Phillips singing Hey Santa goes away.  (NOTE: I Super Loath that song in its entirety. It’s like sand paper and broken glass cutting to my soul. ) Anyway here are my Cheer and Loaths for the week.

Loath: Snow – It’s cold, its wet and did I mention its cold? To those people who say I love snow and it’s so pretty obviously that a)they don’t have to  shovel it, b) have to drive in it or c) are off their medication.  My only exception is over the Christmas Holliday and then only on the following criteria: No less than one inch and not exceeding two inches and must be acquired during the time frame of  midnight and six am. Also said temperature must not fall below -4 Celsius and not exceed -2.  Also I must receive awesome gifts for Christmas.

Cheer: NBL Canada- The NBL is the upstart Canadian basketball league. I have attended two games so far this season and they both been quality affairs. Good basketball and its only going to get better. If there a franchise in your area (Halifax, Saint Johns, Moncton, Quebec (Montreal), London, Summerside, or Oshawa) go check them out.  It’s a great time.

Loath-Music Videos– I remember running home from after school and my brother would want to watch video hits which was our lone connection to the music video world ( We had 3 channels and MTV  was some weird and foreign idea) He use to wait for a favorite song of his and then recorded the video with our giant VHS machine( it had a wired in remote).  But he recorded said videos because he liked the song not because of the video. Videos now seem to be the main marketing method for bands and there music second. Case and point. The song I’m Sexy and I Know it by LMFAO. Honestly everyone conversation starts like this “Have you seen their video”? Not have you heard there song. It’s have you seen their video.  (I have. It’s amusing if you like guys waving their junk around and seeing Ron Jeremy just hanging out).  That doesn’t make the song good. LMFAO is as much a music group as the guys from Lonely Island.  Note I will not post a link to there video. I will not support it. But here some Lonely Island.

Cheer: Real Christmas Trees– Ok yes fake ones are cheaper in the long run and less of a mess but it’s not a tree. It’s a piece of furniture. A real tree just adds something to Christmas.  With Christmas becoming over commercialized and junkified just go buy a real fing tree would you.

Loath. Yuuuuuuuup-Thanks Dave from storage wars.  You made a somewhat interesting show annoying. What is worse now everywhere I go I hear people echoing the same damn thing?  This will hopefully last as long as the wazz up guys from the Budweiser ads.

Whazz up guys

Annoying Dave Hester

Cheer:  May 13, 2013– This is the release date of the new Star Trek film. I am excited. Please don’t let anything be leaked. I hate when they teases us with info and then it doesn’t live up to our expectations or it was an elaborate hoax to throw us off the trail of the real story. No I am not a trekkie or treker but the last film was fantastic.

Mega Loath:  The Joe Fresh Commercial– Have you seen these? There for a clothing line. They have a bunch of blank faced models I guess modeling. Honestly they all have the look on their face that they have done something very shameful to get this job.

by Josh Meisner

Cheer and Loathing in the Free World

Cheer and Loathing in the Free World

By Josh Meisner

Hey everybody. Welcome to Cheer and Loathing in the Free World. In this section I vent about things that get stuck in my craw (never have something stuck in your craw) or things that we fail to appreciate.  So first lets start in with a oldie but a goodie.

Cheer: Tina Turner- Musical powerhouse, true woman’s icon, energetic and the lord supreme of Thunder Dome. She can at the age of 72 come in and blast the roof off any stadium you try to contain her in.  So take that you auto tuned skanked up hacks who only sing about drinks and shit you own.

Loath: Kim Kardashian- Set of boob that has no, repeat NO TALENT. Famous for being famous.  Frankly every time there a story about her that consumes a part of your day, Satan is stealing your soul.  Seriously who would want to hang out with her? If she didn’t have a show or did the nasty with Ray J (who ever the hell Ray J is) she just be another bimbo.

Cheer: Old Subway commercial-This is pre Jared I do believe. These ads were very entertaining. Unlike that stupid monkey they have now. Hell as lame as Jared was I could at least say wow Jared lame but he lost some pile of weight. How am I supposed to relate to a monkey? If it at least talked we might be getting somewhere.

Mr. Lovitz:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRutouaJACc

Cheer: Muppets-Funny, mischievous, multicultural fun. I mean who hasn’t watched a episode of the Muppets and laughed at least once. There was always one character you could relate to. I would actually like to spend a day with them even though they have half bodies and a hand jammed in there bungholio Unlike…

Muppets: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEJBrj30Mak&feature=BFa&list=PLA453857912DAA3A8&lf=results_main

Loath: I Carly-I have friends who have kids. This show is on all the time. Yet I have no idea what it’s about. I tried. I really tried. Its whinny,loud and obnoxious.  I guess she has a web show or something. It’s just bad bad tv.  (Note: It’s not a generational thing. It’s bad tv thing. Worse than Save by the Bell. Come on that was bad too. It was just bad spread over several characters)

Cheer: Bacon-It’s a great way to start the day. Having eggs and bacon for breakfast is saying to death “Ha ha I woke up today so I am going to reward my self with greasy goodness”. Many great things were achieved on a stomach full of bacon and eggs. We sent men to the moon, wars were won, Die Hard was made. Which is more that I can say for …

Bacon frying:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROq5s1FKqvk

Loath:Fruit for breakfast. Fruit. FRUIT! Really. And I don’t mean just on the side. As your whole kick of the morning breakfast. What the hell do you think you are going to achieve with a mango lodged in your stomach. Nothing that is what.

Cheer-Beat boxing: A lost art form it seems much like Incas. What to soon? Here is a clip of one of the last beatboxers Rhazel. Ok for some that just noise but for those who can’t even carry a tune it is pretty freaking amazing.

Beat Boxing  Im Bringing Sexy Backl http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ut_4A3WkIXw

Cheer: The return of Sidney Crosby-Amazing skilled hockey player to the ice and wow and entertain us with a bevy of dekes and passes. Great to see him overcome the concussion symptoms

Loath: The return on Sid the Kid-The over bearing media dry humping of all things Sid. Honestly I think there some broadcasters who touch themselves when they are calling his games.  Why don’t we just start the Sid network and follow him 24/7. Even when the games are on all the cameras will just focus on is him. Honestly when they replay highlights of what another player  did they either talk about it over lingering shots of Sidney or cut to his reaction.  It’s about the game not just one guy.