Dumb Mega Rich Sports: Thoroughbred Bread Racing

Ok let’s say you have an enormous amount of money. Like Richard Branson or hell P Diddy (or Dirty Money, Sean Combs, Puffy or whatever the hell he calls himself) money. Now I’m sure you worked at least somewhat hard to obtain all this mullah. Sure you give some money to charity just to show you are human, own nine different home in exotic locals that you visit at most 2 weeks a year and  bought yourself a private jet but god damn it you just still have way too much money.  So you start to think of crazy shit you can spend it on. Like

a) you pay a guy who job is to hold an umbrella over your head no matter if its raining or not.

B) 24-carat iPhone 4 cause damn it a regular I phone be just to blah

c) you hire the guys from Ghost Hunter International to make sure that there no spooky ghost in any of the luxurious hotels you stay in not trying to steal your money.

But damn it still those things are useful.  I mean hell who doesn’t want to get wet, or be robbed by ghosts. You need something totally frivolous and yet show your status. Ladies and gentlemen welcome to Thoroughbred horse racing.

Horse racing has been around since the times of gladiators.  You see though that was born out of a useful purpose. You needed fast horse to run away from Mongols or charge into battle. Horses were an essential part to your everyday life. Now what do we do. We take two horses, make them have sex, produce a 3^rd horse inject him with drugs, stick a guy with a whip on his back and run the guts out of him for a quarter mile.  If the horse is successful he gets to do it again or if not he made into glue.

This article is not about the sport of horseracing. There are breeders and trainers who are on the level .  This is about why someone would want to own a thoroughbred horse. Cause really, what does the owner have to do with the outcome. The horse does the running, the jockey does the ridding and the trainer does the training. The owner sits in box with his monocle and mint julep with his cronies and mistress guffawing away at some lame ass joke. Hell most of the  time they don’t get to name them.  Oh and the rules to naming a horse is ridiculous. I would get horse racing if the owner was ridding the horse, trained the horse, or even housed the horse.   But they don’t. There job is to write a check. Wow that must be exciting.

Let’s face it they get into it because it’s a prestige thing. Sure there can be winnings, but really it’s more of a “see how much money I can waste on something I know nothing about but I will take the credit” thing. It’s about saying I can make this horse bang that horse and I will own its child. Honestly what if we started doing this with people. Lets get Martina Navratilova and Jimmy McEnroe together to see what kind of tennis player we can get or Courtney Love and Gary Busey to have a love child to see what sort of crazy we get. To me it’s insane. If it wasn’t immoral and frowned upon they probably would try it. (Illegal probably don’t mean anything to them if there uber rich).

Thoroughbred racing: Where money if flushed down the drain cause you can.

By Josh Meisner